Most people don’t want to talk about the effect hearing loss has on relationships, even though it’s an issue many people cope with. Hearing loss can cause communication obstacles that lead to misunderstandings and aggravation for both partners.
With Valentine’s Day right around the corner isn’t it the perfect opportunity to show your love and appreciation for your loved one? Talking about hearing loss together is an ideal way to do this.
Having “the talk”
Studies have found that a person with untreated hearing loss is 2.4 times more likely to experience dementia, including Alzheimer’s disease. When the part of your brain used for hearing becomes less engaged, it can begin a cascade effect that can impact your entire brain. This is called brain atrophy by doctors. You remember how the old saying goes, “use it or lose it”.
Depression rates amongst people with hearing loss are nearly twice that of an individual who has healthy hearing. People frequently become anxious and agitated as their hearing loss worsens according to research. This can result in the person being self isolated from friends and family. As they fall deeper into sadness, people who have hearing loss are likely to avoid engaging in the activities they once enjoyed.
Relationships between family, friends, and others then become tense. Communication issues need to be managed with patients and compassion.
Mystery solved
Someone who is experiencing hearing loss may not be ready to discuss it. They may feel embarrassment and fear. They may be in denial. You may need to do a bit of detective work to figure out when it’s time to have the conversation.
Since you can’t hear what your spouse or parent hears, you’ll have to depend on external cues, like:
- Starting to notice anxiety and agitation in social situations
- Turning the volume way up on your TV
- Repeated misunderstandings
- Avoiding conversations
- School, work, and hobbies are starting to become difficult
- Avoiding busy places
- Complaining about ringing, humming, static, or other noises that you can’t hear
- Failing to hear alarms, doorbells, and other essential sounds
Plan on having a heart-to-heart discussion with your loved one if you observe any of these symptoms.
What is the best way to talk about hearing loss?
Having this discussion may not be easy. A partner in denial might brush it off or become defensive. That’s why it’s crucial to discuss hearing loss in a sensitive and appropriate way. You may need to modify your language based on your unique relationship, but the steps will be basically the same.
- Step 1: Tell them that you love them unconditionally and appreciate your relationship.
- Step 2: You’re concerned about their health. You’ve seen the research. You know that a higher risk of depression and dementia comes along with untreated hearing loss. You don’t want that for your loved one.
- Step 3: Your own safety and health are also a concern. An overly loud television could damage your hearing. Also, your relationship can be impacted, as studies have shown that excessively loud noise can trigger anxiety. Your loved one might not hear you calling for help if you have a fall or somebody’s broken into the house. Emotion is a powerful way to connect with others. If you can paint an emotional picture of the what-ifs, it’s more impactful than simply listing facts.
- Step 4: Make an appointment to get a hearing test together. After you make the decision schedule an appointment right away. Don’t hold off.
- Step 5: Be ready for objections. You could encounter these objections at any time in the process. You know this person. What sort of objections will they have? Will it be lack of time, or money? Perhaps they don’t see that it’s a problem. They might feel that home remedies will be just fine. (You recognize “natural hearing loss cures” don’t actually work and could cause more harm than good.)
Have your answers prepared ahead of time. Even a little practice can’t hurt. These responses need to address your loved one’s Worries but they don’t have to match those listed above word-for-word
Relationship growth
Discussing hearing loss isn’t easy if your partner isn’t willing to talk about it. Openly talking about the effect of hearing loss on your relationship can help to establish a plan to deal with any communication challenges and ensure that both partners are heard and understood. By having this discussion, you’ll grow closer and get your loved one the help they need to live a longer, healthier, more rewarding life. And relationships are, after all, about growing together.
References
https://www.nidcd.nih.gov/health/statistics/quick-statistics-hearing#
https://www.nia.nih.gov/health/hearing-loss-common-problem-older-adults
