You asked for help with one simple chore: take the trash out. But, regrettably, it never got done. “I Didn’t hear you”, they say. Why aren’t you surprised that your partner failed to hear the one thing they needed done? This “selective hearing” is a normal sign that communication is breaking down.
We normally think of selective hearing as a negative, sort of like it’s a character flaw. It’s as if you’re accusing somebody of intentionally not listening. But it’s possible that the actual cause behind your selective hearing may not be a short attention span, it might be the early stages of hearing loss.
What is selective hearing?
You’ve most likely been accused of selective hearing at some point in your life, even if no one used that particular term. Selective hearing happens when you can clearly hear information that’s helpful to you but conveniently miss the bit that’s negative. You hear the part about the chocolate cake, but you miss the part about the calories. That sort of thing.
As a behavior, selective hearing is very common. But this behavior is more common in men than women, according to some studies.
How individuals are socialized does provide some context and it might be tempting to draw some social conclusions from this. But the other part of the equation might have something to do with hearing health. If your “selective hearing” starts to become more common, it could be an indication that you may have undiagnosed hearing loss.
Communication can be impacted by hearing loss
Undiagnosed hearing loss can certainly make communication a great deal more difficult. You’re most likely not surprised by that.
But one notable sign of hearing loss is communication issues.
Symptoms can be really hard to notice when hearing loss is in the early phases. Your tv may get a little louder. You can’t quite hear what your friend is saying when you go out for a beverage at your local tavern. You most likely just assume it’s because of the loud music. But besides situations like that, you might never even notice how loud everyday sounds can be. Your hearing can gradually deteriorate because of this. You scarcely notice the problem until you’re at the point where you frequently have trouble hearing conversations.
Your partner is becoming worried about the health of your hearing
You will notice some of the people close to you are starting to worry. Your family and friends will most likely be irritated when they think you’re intentionally missing what they say. But that frustration often becomes concern when they realize that hearing loss could be the real culprit.
So, your partner might suggest you set up a hearing test to determine if something is wrong.
It’s important to listen to your partner’s concerns. Have an open conversation and consider that they are coming from a place of caring and not just aggravation.
Early hearing loss has a few other signs
If your selective hearing has become worse over time, it might be worth watching out for some of these other early signs of hearing loss. Some of those signs include:
- Having a difficult time distinguishing consonants
- Cranking up the volume on your mobile phone, television, or radio
- People sound far-away or muffled when they speak
- Requesting that people speak slower and speak up
- Trouble hearing in crowds
You should contact us for a hearing test if you have any of these symptoms.
Wear ear protection
It’s crucial that you take measures to protect your ears in order to prevent hearing loss. Limit your exposure to loud settings (or at least use earmuffs or earplugs when you have to be around noise). Any feathers that you may have ruffled with your selective hearing can be smoothed over by using hearing aids to communicate more successfully.
In most situations throughout your life, selective hearing is going to be an artifact of a diminishing attention span. But when you (or somebody around you) notices your selective hearing becoming worse, you may want to take that as a sign that it’s time to get your hearing checked.
